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My thoughts after V3 (spoilers, kinda? I guess? I dunno)
2020.09.18 10:39 DJShy3 My thoughts after V3 (spoilers, kinda? I guess? I dunno)
Yeah, I’m just making this post up as I go, so we’ll all see, myself included, if that spoiler warning is necessary.
You know, I added that ‘meta’ tag to all of my posts of this nature here before, but now? It just feels... fitting. So much more than usual or it’s intended use as a tag.
That ending filled me with so many feelings of such typing and such proper mixing, I legit don’t have words to name these feelings, nor do I have words to describe these feelings. They’re just... there. Sitting in a void of pure me-ness.
When I first saw that spoiler that Tsumugi was the mastermind I truly had no idea how much of a mindfuck the whole truth would me. I mean, how could I? How could anybody!? And furthermore, is she even real? She had that whole spiel about how none of them were truly Ultimates, but that also included herself. She was there when they all lost their sense of identity to be apart of the 53rd killing game. How much of Tsumugi was really her, and not part of the fabrication? I mean, if none of them were Ultimates, then she wasn’t the Ultimate Cosplayer. I had more to say on that matter, but it’s mostly just thoughts with no words in any language attached to them. In the end, I don’t know how to feel about her, or what my current thoughts on her are anymore. All I can say is... I don’t hate her. Not like how I hate Junko, the Ultimate Despair slut. But I don’t exactly like her either. But I think that’s mostly due to my own inability to tell what’s real and what’s a lie regarding who she is, outside of the 53rd killing game and within Danganronpa as a whole.
That said, I should’ve suspected something was up with Kibo the moment I saw him and had a singular thought: “That bot has an ahoge.” I mean, I suspected that the game would play musical chairs with the protags and we would be Kibo at some point, but still. STILL! I will say tho: knowing who he is will make watching Let’s Plays interesting, knowing he’s the audience surrogate and they see what he sees. Miu’s tits in his face come to mind first.
Next up, as a follow up to what I said in my last post, regarding my feelings of Kaito and Maki’s feelings: I am a shipper because of my desire to see others happy with something I feel I cannot achieve myself: a relationship. But I am conflicted. On one hand, their entire relationship is built upon a lie, the biggest lie of all in fact: they, as people and even as themselves, weren’t real, down to the fact that Maki’s own feelings were nothing more than a prewritten script. But on the other hand, there’s that whole speech at the end about what even is a lie and what’s the truth, and how in the end there’s not really a difference, so as long as her emotions and feelings for Kaito are real to her, then they’re real, period. I think what makes this difficult for me is how my shipping tendencies aren’t about me or who I think would be great together. I can and will ship literally anybody with anybody, provided anyone can show me some fanart where they’re happy together. And as such, I can only ship Maki and Kaito provided that Maki ships them. And unless I’m stupid (which is a valid possibility) the ending left that up in the air on her final thought on the matter.
Also as a follow up, someone said something about my feelings of Kokichi after chapter 5. Well, after chapter 6, I can safely say that I don’t despise him anymore. I still hate him, granted, but I hate him as much as others other than Joe from OneShotPlays hates Nagito. He’s an asshole, but a fun asshole. And it doesn’t hurt any that he probably didn’t have a choice in the matter. I don’t think he chose to be an antagonist, that’s just the role Team Danganronpa gave him. Danganronpa games have their character roles and Kokichi played his perfectly. All I can say now is “Kokichi, fuck you and godspeed, you purple bastard gremlin child.” pours out a Dr Pepper, cause I don’t drink
As someone who has troubles with feeling feelings from reality and dumping all my empathy and concern into the world of fiction, Shuichi’s line of “All that pain and sorrow is real to us!” Hit so much harder than it ever needed to on me. I have always cares about these kids from this franchise as well as all the other kids and grown kids from every other well written peice of media I consumed. If I wasn’t physically incapable of crying tears of sorrow, I’m very certain that I would at that line.
Also, I have unlocked the special mode(s) that unlock after a completed playthough. I know nothing about them other than the names ‘Talent Plan’ and Salmon’. However considering the story of this game, I honestly have no idea how this is gonna play out.
Wanna hear a funny tho? When I was playing DR2, I would on the wiki for help with FTEs. While I was doing that, I managed to catch a spoiler, or at least what I remember as a spoiler,(I was about at chapter 5) that Nekomaru was alive and showed up in the unlocked extras of V3. And you wanna know what my immediate thought was for the story of the non-canon thing? DR2 peeps helping to set up the killing game with V3 peeps like the DR1 non-canon game. Without any knowledge of V3’s story or ANYTHING really, I had a truth hidden within a lie I told myself.
But the greatest part of all? Unless I missed something else/the watchlist isn’t up to date, IM FINALLY CAUGHT UP, BITCHES! I can now browse this subreddit without any fear of spoilers! FUCK YEAH, I did it!
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2020.09.15 12:35 kittathew At what point should I stop being actively mad at her and my ex-friends (warning: long story)
Okay. So this girl and I liked each other months ago. Right when quarantine started. She was not looking for a relationship at the time which was fine. I told her I would wait. All I asked is that she would tell me once in a while that she still liked me, this is because I have a serious history of trust issues because of all my previous relationships ending in the other person cheating because they lost interest. She took this as me pushing her to do things. I didn't push. We hung out once and when she was crying about her abusive parents I asked if I could give her a hug. That is as far as we went.
A few weeks later we were at a river with all of my other friends (for clarity sake I will call the next 2 groups of people Team A and Team B). Team A (the friend group I was hanging out with) had previously made me break ties with Team B because they had drama with each other. I chose Team A because the girl was in Team A and my best friend (at the time) was in Team A even if they were a more toxic group. So, we were at the river and everything was kinda off. She was acting weird towards me and had been for a couple days. I had been giving her space (only snaping for streak sake and no other texting) because that is how she dealt with things. Regardless it was weird and then when I got home I was kinda just feeling done with trying to pursue this girl who I was starting to lose feelings over. So I called her. I explained and then she went OFF on me. Saying how she has been dropping hints and stuff for weeks saying she was done with me. This made me pissed. Because she was yelling at me and telling me that I am such an idiot and that is just how she is at explaining her feelings. Needless to say, I didn't take that well and took drugs to try and keep myself from doing something dumb. But I did something dumb anyway. I started wandering the streets until my ex-best friend came and got me. The next day I went over to his house to apologize. For 1. Going on a drug trip 2. Getting pissed off at the girl (I know now I was in the right but our group dynamic was that I was the group bitch that always did everything wrong). Needless to say, I thought everything was gonna go back to normal. I was WAY wrong. She started to spread rumors about me saying I pushed her to do things. Then in about 2 days, I had no friends. I had NO ONE. And I felt so angry.
Then something happened that would change my perspective. My ex-best friend broke up with his 6-month gf out of the blue. That is when I peiced shit together. My ex-best friend and the girl I had been wanting to date for MANY MONTHS liked each other. That is why he didn't take my back when everything went down.
Flash forward another few weeks. My ex bff was going down to visit his dad. I was in such a state of shock that I hadn't told my parents about any of this. They still thought I had friends. So when they asked if I was going to the going away party I said yes. I walked for a few miles just crying and wishing I had anyone. Then I got to an abandoned building where I made an important call. I called someone else who had been kicked out of the group before me. He picked me up and became my new best friend. We spent months having so much fun. Then my ex-best friend apologized to him for kicking him out of the group and suddenly he was back in.
Flash forward a week and he is giving rides to the girl who ruined my social life. By this point, I have been diagnosed with ASPD manifesting sociopathic tendencies. I was in the car with my new best friend and he sees that the girl who ruined my social life and his ex (who broke his heart) are hanging out at ****** so I make a joke saying "we should go to ****** and beat them up". Side tangent my best friends ex, dated my ex-best, friend and ACCUSED HIM OF RAPE and yet he forgave her and they still hang out to this day.
(Back to the story) Me being a sociopath having no remorse or empathy so I just say what comes to mind most of the time. Me saying this reaches my ex-best friend and he goes BALLISTIC. Even though through my relationship before the girl he CONSTANTLY criticized her and called her dumb and said he hated her. He was one of the main reasons I broke up with my ex in the first place. He says he hates me on a live stream and I realize that I hate him too. He had just as much to do with my social life being ruined as the girl did.
A few weeks later I get a text from him saying "apologize to me and her or else". And even though I didn't think I did anything wrong. I did. But nothing changed. My new best friend started drifting towards them and hasn't been the same. He texts me less and hangs out with them more. He also has stopped wanting me to talk badly about them which is angering because he is my only outlet.
All of this has kinda come to a halt starting 3 weeks ago. I am constantly filled anger towards them and it only gets worse because I have classes with them.
All I wanna know is should I stay mad out of self-respect? Because I know I can't be treated like this and stand for it. I don't wanna lie down and be their bitch anymore. Or should I let go even though every time my best friend comes over he talks about them and brings back the pain? I know them taking up my mind is bad. But it still affects me and I feel like I can't stop without someone telling me why.
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2020.09.14 01:53 BigGooba4444 Hit my ex gf, fucked my friends girl, can’t stop drinking and doing drugs, tons of trauma from this year, need advice
To preface this, I think I suffer from BPD.
Basically I was in a super duper toxic relationship with a girl, she was histrionic and a terrible alcoholic. She was constantly cheating/trying to cheat on me and was literally drunk all the time. Instead of breaking up with her I became controlling and abusive, trying to force her to not be histrionic and not drink all the time. Over time I became angrier and angrier and had a few raging outbursts while in blackouts, the last one culminating in me slapping her on her side above her butt cheek really hard and she ran away and called the police while I knocked over a bunch of shit in our apartment and I got a domestic assault charge over it.
Basically I was a piece of shit for a long time in the relationship. After she cheated on me, tried to cheat on me even more, publicly humiliated me multiple times, and for the most part straight up assaulted me a couple times, I cheated on her and became abusive. It was a really really bad relationship and ya I admit I was a peice of shit for the latter part. Like ik how much I scared her in my rages at her. It just fucking sucks because I’m so fucking conflicted now. On one hand I’m really upset that she could cheat, physically attack me, gaslight me, and ruin friendships for me and I’m the one who’s in legal trouble now because I fucked up one time really bad, but on the other hand I feel really really awful about how I treated her and I don’t hate her, like I still love her. Ik we can’t ever be in a relationship again, but I do want to reconcile. Like I don’t want her out there hating my guts and I’m super upset about the fact of the possibility of facing her in court like that would kill me inside. This isn’t how I wanted things to end. I’m so fucked up about it.
On top of all this shit, my best friend (also her ex) OD’d and died during our relationship. And ya that was hard af both losing a best friend and having to console my gf about a lost love, like ya that shit was both heartbreaking and awkward af at the same time. And to preface everything, he set me up with her, but in hindsight she fucked that relationship up between me and him because she literally just can’t act right when she’s wasted. It sucks and he died before I could fix our relationship with each other. On top of that too, my other best friend tried to kill himself and I had to call the paramedics on him and he got caught with a fuck load of drugs at his apartment and is now going to prison. Like wtf I’m literally losing everyone. Like I graduated from college with a very very good degree recently, but I can’t get a fucking job because I have a domestic assault case hanging over my head. It’s so fucked up and unfair.
And then in my infinite knowledge and emotional intelligence, I ended up fucking my friend’s girl(not officially dating, but still seeing each other) right after my assault incident with my ex because I was upset. Now he’s not happy with me obviously. Idk what to do, like I do want to try to make it up with everyone, but I don’t know how. Like idk if it’s even possible.
Now all I do is drink and do whatever drugs I can get my hands on, I can’t get a job, I’m broke, hopeless, and I don’t even see the point of continuing on. I tried to reach out to my ex to apologize, but she hates me now. I want to quit getting drunk and high all the time, but it’s way too fucking miserable to be sober. Am I a terrible person, do I deserve this shit? Idk wtf to do. I want to make it up with both my ex and my friend but idk how. Is it even possible?
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2020.09.12 22:02 appleheadlover7 Emotional and confused
So decently long story,not that long thou,so me(17F) and this guy (18M) (let's call him Mike) have had a crush on eachother for a whole year,and we finally got together,been happy for the last 2-5 months and regularly text and call,meeting is hard because he is a family friend and the family is getting a bit suspicious (I'm not supposed to date:( ) so anyway I've recently been feeling guilty,me and him had our first kiss a week ago and it was a bit silly,kna corridor because we had to keep a lookout for people in both sides,yea after that he stopped coming for a while because my family were really doubting us,so he needs to take my brother with him to his house instead of staying here and working(they work on graphics together) and I'm just sad I can't see him as much, especially after that kiss I just want to see him everyday..and I almost broke up saying I feel weird and guilty and stupid yesterday,but I can't. Leave him because I love him honestly..all he wants to do is make me happy and comfortable and I at the same time want to end things but at the same time sleep on his chest happily..what do I do?this has been affecting me alot in the past few days,as I see him only for a split second when he comes to meet my brother,cuz my aunt is super watchy when he comes over
We text,video call and chat regularly,everyday and at midnights..
Thanks if u read all this and decided to leave a peice of advice ❤️
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2020.09.12 07:53 kindamehbutok My heart was broken 3 times, but it worked out for the good.
Before this story starts I want to acknowledge a few things
1: My grammar isnt the best so please try to read past it. I am so sorry for it but Im not the best at grammar.
2: I explain this story as if Im talking to you in person. So If something seems off with what Im saying thats why. So I may use words like: Kinda, Anyway, So basically, etc.. Im sorry again for my poor grammar but Im used to texting not writing books.
3: READ THE WHOLE STORY. Please read this especially if you are in a low point in life. I dont tell this story because I want you to feel sorry for me. I want this story to help you. Yeah Its a mild low point in my life and I understand that some people go through alot worse but please look past that. I have a specific reason to tell this story.
4: This is kinda weird for me to get this out there because Ive never talked about this to anyone who didnt help me through it personally. So this is going to be strange for me but I hope it helps you. Please read all the way through and if you want to say something about it please do! I would love your opinions on this matter. Thank you!
I will also have each section of the story as a few word phrase to make the next part a little easier to understand. like the one below.
Who was I?
I was a 16 year old, all my life single, hyperactive, kid attending any sort of public school for the first time in my life. Yes.. I was homeschooled my entire life. That meant that going to school for me was a huge step out of my comfort zone. I was a little shy but adapted to my surroundings decently fast. I had a small group of friends, but I never had that group of friends that I knew I could trust and talk about anything with.
First Day of School
I arrived at the school for the first time for the "prep day." Basically they did a crash course of how everything worked throughout the year and what to expect. I was going to a virtual academy while taking 2 classes at the main Highschool. I arrived at the school I noticed only 3 people I recognized. One of which was a girl I knew, but not too well. (Which I will call Ella for Identity reasons) Basically the only time we really talked is when I helped my mom take her 8th grade pictures. She was 15 I was turning 17 that year. Anyway I sat down next to her and we talked a little throughout the meeting. Little did I know that was the start of something way bigger then I could've Imagined.
Fast forward a few weeks and Ive meet a few new people but out of everyone Ella and I were closest. I was just getting into social media and one lunch period everyone was trying to convince me to get Snapchat. Ive tried snapchat before and I thought at the time It was kind of pointless, but they convinced me and helped me set up mt account.
Later that day I got a snap from Ella, and all it was were the words: "Night Streaks" now I had gotten a ton of these "streaks" for people but I finally decided to ask Ella what it meant. She explained it and we got talking. Soon enough we were almost talking everyday. We would see eachother in the mornings, eat lunch, walk to the other school on the opposite side of the campus, go our separate ways, then most likely end up chatting on snapchat until its time to go to bed, then do it all agian. Needless to say she quickly became my best friend.
My First Crush
I had never had a crush on anyone, and as a 17 year old who had never experienced "feelings for someone" it was weird when I finally met a girl that I had feelings for. It took me a while to realize that I liked Ella, but as soon as I started to accept it. People noticed..
I cant specifically remember the ammount of people who asked me but It was blatantly obvious that I liked her or at the very least felt comfortable around her. I wasnt the only one however.. One day I was walking to the school with one of her friends that over heard them talking.
"So do you like him?" Her friend asked quietly.
"Well.." Ella started to talk but quickly stopped.
Her friend gasped! "So you do like him!?"
"Yeah Ok! Maybe I do like him," Ella said. "My mom doesnt want me to date until college so dont get your hopes up."
"Well shoot!" I thought. "First crush and not even a month goes by and my heart gets broken!"
I thought about it heavely and I was upset. Not at her or the guy but upset at myself. But I managed. A few weeks go by and Im in the virtual academy building when.. the website goes down. Thats right. The main website for the classes completely un-accessible. The teachers give us the permission walk around and chat. I go over to my group of friends, Ella being one of them, and start talking. We all see Ella's "boyfriend" walking up to the building and she starts freaking out wanting to hide. Im confused but dont say anything. Turns out they had an argument and he was being a jerk to her. (I'll be honest I never really liked the dude anyway. He was a jerk)
A few more weeks go by, Christmas break comes and goes and we keep talking over snapchat. The more we talk the more I realize I cant shake these feelings for her! "Should I ask her how she feels about me?" I wondered. "I know her mom and she doesnt want her to date and I will respect that. But we don't have to date? I could just tell her how I feel! But that would make things awkward if she doesn't feel the same."
Apparently somehow her mom found out that I liked her and she got excited and wanted her daughters to invite me over to hang out and I did. I got to know their whole family well and become close to her and her family. It was almost a bimonthly thing where I would come over to their house and hang out and I thought for certain that she felt the same.
So I am a part of this thing called Pathfinders. Its a Christian organization where its basically Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts combined into one. Ella and I went to the same club and we both went to a campout. At this time we were really close. The school year was coming to a close in a few weeks and I hadn't heard her talking about anyone she was interested in and we talk alot so I would've known. With that In mind I made sure that this campout I was going to get to know her better.
The first morning we are all gathered around for church and believe it or not the topic was love! More specifically love languages and finding yours. I was shocked partially but happy aswell.. maybe I could use this to talk about my feelings...? I was mainly confused and anxious but we basically hung out that whole day. I had so much fun and If anything I was with my best friend making memories and having fun.
Later that night, after the evening worship talk was done and the songs were sung. It was just me and her sitting around the campfire talking. We talked for a while and then she asked, "whats your love language"
At first I was surprised, but I answered the question
"Quality Time" I said
She sat there and thought about it.
"What about you?" I asked.
"I would say quality time too." She answered.
And we sat there. Talking. Spending time in eachothers company. It was at this point that I realized the Ella was special to me. I know it sounds cliche, but at that time I didnt care about my feelings. All I thought was "I want her in my life, whether she is my significant other or not. I will be there for her."
The next morning it was time to leave. I was helping her and her younger sister pack a tent when they started talking about crushes.
"Yeah you have that one dude, whats his name.. Oh steven!" Ellas Sister exclained.
"Shut up!" Ella snapped. "Were just friends, yeah we know we both like eachother but we dont want to start anything right now"
"You've GOT TO BE KIDDING!!" I thought. "Again!? I have to go through this again? Maybe I should just give up. This is useless! I keep falling for her just to be heartbroken! Its not worth it! Dont cry... its ok. Oh shoot... Im riding back with her in a car! Dangit! I have to keep my composure for that long?"
"Enough of me ok!" Ella exclaimed. "Why do we have to talk about me?" Ella looked at me. "Who do you like?"
Yeah.. after having my heart broken. My crush that I was certain had feelings for me. Is now asking who I liked.. and wouldnt stop.
"Come on I am your best friend you have to tell me!" "Your like always so hidden about your feelings its ok to talk about how you feel" she kept on and on trying everything to break me and find out who I liked. Meanwhile I have my sunglasses over my eyes praying they dont see the tears I'm trying my hardest to hold in. I had it.. I wanted so bad to say I liked her just to shut her up, but I knew it would only make things worse. I thought about pur talk last night and how I said to myself that I would always be there for her. It took a while but she finally stopped asking and we left for home.
I know they say men arent supposed to cry but when I got home and layed down in my bed I cried. Just when I thought things were going my way it all came crashing down with insult to injury included in the painful fall.
The end of school was here and I had accepted a job at a summer camp out of state. She had broken up with that one guy and I was barely over what happened on the campout. When she found out I was going to be gone all summer she was the only one who gave me a shocked and sad reaction.
I left for summer camp and we kept in contact. Quite often having late nights texting over snapchat. I was still heartbroken but I told myself I would be there for her and If anything Im going to be her friend. Even if she never knows I will still be by her side and be that person she can talk to when things are hard.
Summer camp ends, I return and come to find out they had transferred over to my church and were going there every weekend now. Which I thought was cool. Now I can see them every weekend instead of just school.
School starts, Im a senior now and she is no longer attending the Virtual school so Im seeing her alot less now. We still however kept touch on Snapchat.
You know those challenges on snapchat where you answer questions about a person. It could be your brother, sister, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc.. yeah when I texted my friend to get a person to answer the questions about. Yeah... I got crush... I still had feelings for Ella so I decided to answer the questions with her being the person. (I hope this all makes sense)
Not much time passes and I get a text from Ella.
"Ok.. you have to tell me who this person is!" She said
A little while later she Is being very persistent. I try changing the topic once and she wont have it. She will not stop asking me until she gets her answer. So I start dropping hints. Hoping she gets the idea that I like her.
After a few hints are dropped she is trying to be my wingman. I was done, I decided to drop one big hint before I was going to drop the conversation all together.
"If you just tell me who it is I can talk to her and try to see if she feels the same!" She said.
"Im afraid you cant" I replied.
"Why not?" She asked
"Unless you look in a mirror I dont see how you can" I said.
Silence... she knew.
After all this time, all this heartbreak, all this wondering what would happen if she knew. It all came down to this.. we talked a bit about what I would say if the feelings were mutual and how I wasnt interested in starting a relationship partially because I wasnt ready and partially becuase I wanted to respect her parents wishes. It was ok. She took it well but didnt say a whole lot.
It was like a huge weight had been lifted up off my shoulders. But it finally started to sink in.. she was visiting family.. I wasnt going to see her for 2 weeks. What will things be like in person. Will things be awkward? He siblings know, are they going to treat me differently?
Thankfully it didn't, but things were never the same after that. I had grown closer to her family and now we were hanging out alot more. We had this small group of friends that we hung out with alot and It was a blast! Like I said before Id never had a close group of friends that I could talk to and I finally was getting there.
Fast forward to the end of the school year and into summer. I decided to stay home that summer and not work for summer camp and we ended up hanging out with that group all summer long. Most days we were either talking or hanging out and I became really close with that group. I had thought that with the way our relationship has been going and how close we had gotten I was going to give it one last try.
The Big Campout!
It came time for the International Pathfinder Camporee! (Basically its a pathfinder event but 50,000 people go and camp in an airport its pretty dope!) And I was determined to make this camping trip a way to see how she felt towards me.
The first day! Going great! We hung out all day.
The second day! Hung out most of the day but I had work to do so I didnt hang out all day with her.
The third day. We barely hungout.
The rest of the week she basically ignored me and hung out with another group of guys.
The camp out was done and I was feeling down. I had noticed her hanging out with another one of my friends and I was a bit suspicious.
The Third Heartbreak..
It was a Saturday afternoon and we were hanging out in town. Ella and my friend were all over eachother all day. I was getting suspicious and was keeping a close eye on them. We went over to a friends house and it was then they just went all in. They were holding hands, cuddling by the pool, hugging like 24/7... I was done. I had enough. That night I barely got sleep. I couldn't help but check their Instagram feeds with the pictures of them two wondering if she still remembered how I felt. Did she ever feel that way about me? Am I just bad at reading signals? What the HECK!?!? HOW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO FALL FOR THE GIRL WHO BROKE MY HEART NOW 3 DAMN TIMES!?
needless to say.. I barely got sleep. I couldn't last a minute without a million questions running through my mind. It was the first time I experienced depression like this and I didn't want to do ANYTHING. My brother saw that I was super depressed and told them to stop posting every minute on their Instagram stories how much they love eachother. Turns out she put all the peices together and texted me.
It was very simple..
She apologized for everything and said she didn't know that it hurt me.
Out of everything that she said.. one thing she said stood out to me.
"I want to thank you for everything you've done. You have been there for me like nobody has and I dont want to loose you as a friend. I love you and I want you in my life."
It made me realize that despite the heartache. I was her friend. That I promised myself that I would be there for her despite the circumstance. I never realized until then how much it meant to her. That no matter what I was there for her.
I later found out that when I said I liked her, she cried because to her it meant someone liked her for who she was. No benefits, not for her looks, or to have a status symbol. That someone was there for, her.
Fast forward a year.. because I fell in love with her, her mom made us hangout, because we hung out we dragged other people along in the friend group. Now, I have the closest group of friends I ever will have. I dont know how to describe the relationship with this group. All I know is if it weren't for this group, I wouldn't be where I am today. Two of them would be dead, or in severe depression. This group of people are family. And it took being there for someone through the hard times, to find my second family.
So why do I tell this story? Not to make you feel sorry for me or applaud me or anything. This is not a selfish story. Instead I want you to take this story, and know that sometimes it takes a low point in your life to get you to a better part. There were many nights where I question God why am I going through this? Why do I have to be so dumb and ignorant to fall for this girl 3 times just to be heartbroken? I believe it is because of that heartbreak that I got to where I am today. That I found my friends. That I learned what it meant to love unconditionally. And that is why, you never give up when its hard.
I know my story is very mild compared to others but let this, if anything, Inspire you to keep moving. Keep pushing. You dont know whats on the other side. It might be what you are looking for. You just havent gotten there yet. Hang in there!
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2020.09.08 03:36 Kittenlover9942 Entitled teen falls in love with me, Entitled mother rips up my drivers license.
So I was out mowing my lawn, you know, the usual for a Saturday afternoon (im not horrible, mowing in the morning) when a boy comes up to me. I am 20, he is 17. I say "Hi" and continue mowing. He tried to start a conversation, but I am lost in my music, using soundproof headphones. When I am done I make myself a bowl of fruity pebbles (vErY aDuLt oF mE i kNoW) and sit on the porch. I am sitting on the porch when the boy comes up to me. Know that I have only seen him while hes riding with his friends. I do not know his name, where he lives, or anything for that matter. He again tries to start a conversation. This is basically how it went
EB: How are you
EB: You like movies
Me: Not really, I prefer books
EB: Wanna read one together
EB (as if he lived there): Want me to go inside and get us some food
Me: One, You dont live here, Two, Your a complete stranger, and Three, Do you not see my fRuiTy pEbBleS?
Me: Can you please leave? I wanna eat my soggy fruity pebbles in peice.
EB: Yeah yeah yeah sure sure sure but first (inhale), Will you be my girlfriend...?
Me: No. I dont know you. I dont know your age. This could be illegal, I girlfriend, and WE JUST MET!
EB: Fine then, have it your way.
I watch him leave and i slowly start eating my fruity pebbles again. Its about dusk when two police officers come up and cuff me. Confused and thinking about when i forgot to pay for some chips, i get in the car. I get taken to an interrogation room where EB and what looks like his EPs are sitting with a grin. I simply answer all their assault questions and i get sent home.
The next day the EM shows up at my door, EB behind her. It played out badly
EM: to son Is this the lady who rejected you darling?
EM: to me Now, why would you reject this perfect son of mine?
Me: Cuz we met yesterday?
EM: Thats no reason to reject him!
Me: Yes, it is.
EM: My son is 17! He is probably much older than you. You should respect him!
Me: Ma'am, I am 20. I ca
EM: STOP LYING! YOU ARE JUST SAYING THAT TO GET OUT OF DATING HIM!
Me: pulls out driver's license as proof
This lady grabbed my license, looked at it, told me it was fake and ripped it in half. At this point I am really angry, so I tell her to leave me be and slam the door. This all happened in the last two days. I am hoping its over, but i dont think it is. I will update you if anything happens. Sorry that its so lazy, im on a bus, trying to pay attention to where i am and type at the same time.
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2020.09.06 15:55 sno0ky I want to fucking kill proana coaches
stupid fucking proana coaches i hate you i hate you go die for fuck sake, u creepy lowlife men U PREY ON MENTALLY ILL TEEN GIRLS BECAUSE U CANT GET ANY ATTENTION FROM OTHER WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOURE GROSS AND DISGUSTING AND YOU HAVE A SHIT PERSONALITY, SO YOU MANIPULATE TEENS BECAUSE IT MAKES U FEEL POWERFUL AND IN CONTROL OF THEM AND YOU LOVE THAT FEELING BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY INTERNALLY HATE WOMEN AND WANT TO CONTROL THEM BECAUSE MOMMY DIDNT KISS U AS A CHILD AND LUCY DIDNT WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL, SO THIS IS HOW YOU “COPE”. YOU ARE PATHETIC AND NO ONE WILL EVER RESPECT YOU IN YOUR LIFE. YOU FUCKING CREEPS I HOPE YOU GET SKINNED ALIVE YOU FUCKING PEICES OF SHIT. BURN!
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2020.09.04 03:01 faigirlz77 Should I dump him or ghost him?
Male (25) me female (23) I went out with a guy and felt no connection, in fact I'm still reeling from my dream man dumping me and leaving me like I was a peice of trash. Anyways, so I thought dating someone would.help me, but I just felt worse cause I felt no chemistry to him. Should I tell him I feel no chemistry? No spark? Im nott interested? I mean these all seem so cruel. People say ghosting is cruel but isn't telling him he isn't enough, more cruel? Should I tell him I'm just not looking for someone right now even though thats a lie? The reason I dont want to dump him because I don't want to have this convo. My heart is aching, I feel physically ill, I feel hopeless and lost in life and I jut don't have it in me to talk to someone about this who will ask me for further explanation and want to talk more.
Tdlr; ghost or dump?
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2020.08.30 17:50 frownyface42 Just discovered my gf is cheating on me and she'll be home in 2 days. What do i do?
My gf(22f) and I (23f) have been dating for 5 years and engaged for 2 and been best friends since middle school. We've been through a lot of really crappy things together but we've always held true and never had any problems now... I've known I was asexual for a long time and my gf knew when we started dating that I wasn't interested in having sex but that I still wanted a monogamous relationship and of that was an issue then we shouldn't start dating. She assured me that it wouldn't be an issue...
then proceeds to bring up the topic at least 3 times a year about wanting to find a third person to our relationship that is allosexual. I always say I'm not comfortable with it. She backs down and I always feel like guilty peice of crap after and get depressed cuz I feel like I'm holding her back with insecurities. I once even told her I trusted her enough if she really wanted a secual partner i would do it with her but she declined stating she no longer things of me with sexual attraction only romantic attraction. It hurt my feelings that she only wanted someone else but it didn't know how to phrase it well enough to get that across so we just dropped the conversation. She is the one who proposed to me 2 years ago with the promise of only me about 8 months after that last conversation. She's been pretty good about not bringing it up again since.
Then a few months later made a friend online, J (20 at the time, they got close really fast and I like J a lot as well infact I would say she's one of my best friends as well. But then a couple of things started throwing red flags but I trusted my gf and I assumed I was just being insecure and needed to work on myself but now... im not so sure.
They started as an inside joke, or what I assumed was one, where they would call each other girlfriends occasionally and I didn't like it... and i said I was uncomfortable with that but she assured me its only a joke so I let it go. Then they started having like cute couple icons on social media from shows they liked to watch together and hearts by their contacts in their phones... and again I let it go because I trust them... my Gf would take weekend trips to go visit her at her college campus and I couldn't even go because I work a lot. And often they wouldn't answer their phones for long periods of time. And go do really fun things that I love to do but my gf never plans for me like picnics and trips to the zoo... But i trusted her and let it slide... and then the time before last they were celebrating J's 21st bday... and my gf came home covered in bite marks and hickies... and i said I was super not okay with that but she convinced me that it was the first time J got drunk and just had bad call of the void with biting... and i wanted to believe her so bad that I convinced myself it was fine. But my girlfriend just left yesterday to go see J again... and I'm usually not on Twitter but I got on just because I was bored... and I saw a post on J's Twitter about finally getting f***ed by their girlfriend after not seeing her in a long time and... they werent answering their phones last night... did my denying my gf the chance to have another partner so much make her think that she had to go behind my back with my best friend. I feel like i just set up the dominoes with my own insecurities and was just pushing by saying no everytime and not compromising. She comes home in 2 days... what do i do?
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2020.08.28 01:37 Sanity0004 My journey through The Challenge for the first time. (Part 6: Battle of the Seasons. Easily my longest post so far. Oof)
Probably a lot of errors and screw ups in this long winded rant/live watch. I'm sorry it's this long. I might need a damn break after this season. Boy, this took some wind out of my sails. This was rough.
Battle of the seasons:
Ok, I've heard I'm in for a string of really good seasons. Let's go!
A whole lot of people I don't recognize at all. (I'm totally fine with this.)
Sarah looking different! I like it!
Danny and Melinda on the same season? Why weren't they on Exes?
I have limited exposure to Chet, but I like him!
Danny looks so different in his confessionals.
Knight being a dick right off the bat. Damn.
Oh hell, this Pennsatucky looking chick.
Actually like seeing Jonna and Jasmine again.
I thought I recognized Trishelle and Alton, hey I watched that season!
These fresh off the Real World rookies(Saint Thomas?) seem awkward.
So far, I'm really liking the looks of this cast. A lot of newer people, the old school vets are low in numbers. I'm liking this a lot.
"Best challenge house ever." Nah man, Fresh Meat 2's house was awesome.
This Frank dude does NOT give off good vibes right off the bat.
I'm all for the Sarah/Chet team up.
Wes shenanigans off the bat.
Oh shit, another team? No clue who it could be.
Oh shit. I am soooo for this. Cara, Big Easy, Brandon and Camilla. I'm good with all four! Please Brandon, don't get screwed again! I swear to god I could already see some Wes shenanigans of getting Easy/Cara to put in Brandon/Camilla or some shit. Don't you do it!
I feel like Austin is screwed with Melinda and Lacey. Melinda was never all that good in these challenges and Lacey doesn't look competitive at all.
Calling Jonna and Jasmine weak? They were small but seemed strong and wirey as hell.
Why is Cara Maria's name on her shirt like added on? lol Was she a last minute substitute or something? Everyone elses name is white letters on the shirt, but hers looks like it's a white printout strip thrown on the front of the shirt.
Big Easy making a great first impression... Good job bud!
God damn Eric. God Damn dude. Losing weight ain't shit for this show if you aren't also getting stronger and working on endurance.
As a newer viewer not knowing a lot of these people, this is a terrible first comp for judging people and their performance for first impressions. A lot of times its just names and seasons and there's no real way to tell anyone apart most of the time.
Why is this season treating just falling in the water so much worse? Just seems like a big escelation in the dramatization of danger. Only the first episode and it's had two falls in the water cut to commercial for drama. Exes alone had like 7 or 8 falls worse than any of these that were barely even noted on? lol
Did this season suddenly have a big editing change? So far I hate the editing on this season. So much added dramitization and commercial cuts. This show never felt that dramatized before this. Yes there were dramatic cuts to commercials and everything, but saying who the power team was? Fresh Meat getting out of the car? This is feeling too much like modern overdramatization of reality tv.
Ugh, Wes instantly on his shit. I like people owning their shit, but he's just a little too much sanctimonious about it.
Shocked they had no time with the Fresh Meat team with reactions after the challenge. So much more focus on the rookies and newbies.
First go off the bat gonna be all vets of the challenge. Nice.
Wanting Austin gone, but then picking physical against Fresh Meat? These new peeps don't seem the brightest.
Wes seems so slimmed down more than the last couple seasons. Wonder if he took the finals of Rivals to heart and been more focused on endurance and cardio?
I am so confused by this Frank and Zach guy...like....sexually. There's some strong homoerotic vibes going on right now.
I said it once, I'll say it again and again. Angry drunk is a damn requirement for this show.
Jonna, did you not watch the Exes reunion?! Ok she's at least going to call the dude before it goes on and on and farther and farther.
"My hearts pounding because I'm so excited you called." This is the ultimate of unconfortableness. I love the way this phone call is starting off haha I LOVE IT.
Cara Maria what the shit? All of a sudden wanting to get cold feet?
I still don't understand why Cara's shirt is different than everyone elses.
Oh shit, well this is the best possible case for Big E, damn. Tackle the dude and keep moving. My faith in Austin just plummeted. Lacey has no chance and Wes has a less than normal chance.
Well that was instant.
I actually wish these guy and girl elim's worked indipendantly. Why should a team lose two, could just lose the girl or guy seperately. Have both compete, but I'd more like the chance of two teams potentially losing one each rather than one team losing 2.
Eric just fucking tore through Wes like it was fucking nothing. I knew Eric had this, but shit that was nuts.
Wes trying to be smart and go under. I think Eric got it. Wes swung his arm out too much, he lagged behind.
Danny and Melinda just on their own battle of the exes now.
The combo of Knight and Jemmye makes that season of Real World seem like the absolute most off brand casting I've seen on MTV lmao
New crew coming in with alliances. Good to see people aren't just coming in doing whatever vets or older cast say or say is normal.
A giant pit of olive oil....ewe
I look at that red line and wonder if someone is about get their back broken.
Oh ok, I can see the appeal of this comp immediately.
I like the schoolyard pick of this type of comp.
Punches and drop kicks and neck grabs all in the first guy/guy face off? Damn these newbies came in heated.
"Too much sensitivity in these newbie." Ok, I'm loving this post-win Camilla.
Jonna, man, just instantly stepping out.
Newbies coming in actually thinking about these games smartly. It's actually nice seeing this from people other than Johnny/Kenny/Evan and Wes.
Man they just completely close out multiple teams from even trying. Damn.
I'm glad the vets aren't just taking it sitting down and instantly strategizing themselves.
Hahaha, I love that this became a thinking mans challenge throwing competition. The people playing around and goofing off is just all around great.
That Big Easy has to sit here and talk to Cara and Camilla to actually play politics. Seriously guys, you two specifically have scated on being on the vets side so damn much to be talking shit about having to play politics. Brandon and Big Easy deserve better.
I'm a fan of these rookies coming in and wanting too say fuck how this game has been played in the past. Yes, I don't really know them, and we don't have any vested interest in any of them, but this is how EVERY SINGLE PERSON should be coming in to this game. Fuck how it was played in the past, play it how you want to play it. The best possible outcome of this is multiple people coming in like this and having a good tug and pull for control throughout the season. It's how you get evolutions in strategy.
Instant talk of love and connections bug the hell out of me. Jonna and her "I've never felt this way with a guy" come on chick, it's been a couple days.
Oh god, Melinda getting in this fight is hilarious. It almost got the girls into a fight lmao
I am not here for this New Orleans cast. Knight seems like a Vinny mixed with Johnny wannabe or something.
Cara Maria seems extra whiny this season. I haven't seen her not whining yet.
Brandon, I like you, but don't just come in and say "This is my fourth challenge, I'm tired of eliminations." Dude, did you come in expecting that vet shit too? Come on man.
I have to assume that they have to give the producers who they want sent in before they get to see the comps right? I mean, why wouldn't you just wait til you see it and then decide?
I don't like this Frank guy. He may be the head dude in charge with alliances and stuff, but he's not a great personality. He's not a fun evil, or fun bad guy to root for. He's just kind of annoying?
Is Camilla going to be tall enough for this?
On these type of competitions, why wouldn't you just sit back and wait until the last 30 seconds and then just send everything back?
Glad to see Fresh Meat stick around. No real surprise to see Danny Melinda go out so fast.
I feel like Austin being gone was like the Legacy members being gone. Yeah there is still vets left, but the rest left aren't really as well established.
Big Easy getting some female interest? Hell yeah!
Damn Trishelle was gone for two episodes and comes blasting in with "Sarah is manipulative!"
I can't take this Knight dude.
I like this challenge a lot. Fresh Meat is definitely screwed, but I like it.
Yup, there goes Easy. What the hell is with this dude? He was never a bad guy in these regular challenges. He was always decent but never the worst, never this damn bad.
This competition really doesn't seem hard. It's more about concentration than anything else. Other than Eric the only thing people struggled on was not paying attention to placing the hook correctly.
Does each team have their own van/bus? Seems extravigant...
Damn Trishelle, you seem to be way more manipulative right now than Sarah is? You're the one running around telling everyone Sarah is manipulating Alton, but what you're doing is manipulating every team against one person.
I understand the politics of wanting to stick with the alliance, but you're being crazy about it.
Trishelle lmao "I'm a poker player, don't fuck with me." If I hear I'm a poker player one more damn time!
Damn Camilla, chill chick. Brandon trying to talk you up and get you out of your shitty mood and you just start screaming?
"Go fuck yourself!" "I will, I do it every single day!" I love it! hahaha
Cut to them talking about the argument. Huuuuge pet peeve of mine, discussing how the argument progresses and takes place and not focusing at all on why the argument happened. "You said some things in there that hurt and I don't know where they come from." What about the fact that you blew up because the guy was trying to talk you up?!
Thank you Chet! Trishelle, you're off your rocker. Why does Trishelle have this huge hate for Sarah? I feel like there is some context outside of the game or something? Why does she come in saying she's the most manipulative person in the game? What?
Cara has a point. If something gets hard and you say you want to quit, who's to say you won't do the same another time? That being said Cara just seems so damn whiney this season.
Trishelle pissed when Sarah volunteers herself lmao
Chet and Sarah vs Brandon and Cara? In this type of challenge? I think Fresh Meat's about to lose...
Spending so much time pulling the rope seems like a waste of time. You're never going to get that damn far you only have 10 minutes.
I don't know who I want to stay more. I kind of want Cara gone, but I don't want Brandon gone. Definitely want to keep Sarah/Chet around.
Not really surprised by the outcome.
Oh fuck off Cara. "The joke is Camilla is stuck with Big Easy. You seemed to so obviously come in to this season expecting to scate by on the vets take care of vets game style and obviously never expected to go in to any elimination.
I'd say Brandon got screwed again by a disfunctional team. Cara and Big easy is a tough saddle to bare.
Get that girl big easy!
Devyn really? Dating guys collecting social security? really?
This fucking Knight guy. God dammit.
Trying to mentally breaking people? Really reafirming my Johnny take...
The new orleans cast as a whole looks like they were side castmembers on MTV's Buckwild and they threw them on Real World after Gandee died and the show was cancelled. That's my headcannon.
Eric talking shit, but obviously struggling holding the basket before anything is put in it...
Damn dude, going hard on Brooklyn.
Chet lol "Don' apologize, it doesn't mean shit."
Damn Easy, fucking keep going. The basket is just filling up.
Frank seems like a bitch.
I am absolutely loving this "Alliance" breaking the fuck apart already. lmao They're all seeing a pecking order and little spites and shit's gonna blow. Love it.
LOVE IT. Keep fighting!
I have a feeling this season is about to get real damn heated.
"Team meeting" this should go swell
"We're in an alliance with you....but not really we want your team in."
Sending in Fresh Meat again? Pussed out already?
"Why is Brooklyn on the bottom every time?"
Safe to say all these newbies got the JEK style of strategy. Clearly have a pecking order, but lets not acknowledge the pecking order. That's just messed up. Why would you think there's an pecking order? How dare you! Now you're just making yourself a target!
Camilla, you won a season by getting to the end with alliances. What are you talking about? Vets so clearly came in expecting it to be a vets to the end automatic run.
Be careful Camilla, that New Orleans cast look like they would actually start stabbing people. Especially the Pennsatucky looking chick.
After a comp? Everyone with their own bus. After partying and drinking? Cram all these drunk fucks in a bus!
Oh boy, you guys are underestimating Camilla if you think she would get her ass kicked. I'd put that money on Camilla.
Everyone just fucking throwing 'bows and shit. Body check after body check. I love this alliance.
How Nany kept her top on the entire time I have no idea.
Knight telling Trishelle that he's the best manipulator in the house? Better watch out. Lose an alliance mate for simply suggesting that it isn't Sarah.
Ughhh god, I can't take more of this Knight dude. He obviously took extensive notes on JEK's tips on playing the game.
Nany you're bitching to Fresh Meat about not losing and not going into elimination? You dense bitch!
IDK Devyn, you said you date people who collect social security. I feel like Easy should be a little uneasy on the dodginess. Not that it really matters, but the dodginess is weird.
Fucking Knight coming to the rescue lmao
Oh fuck off with this dumb suspense!
Big E, what the fuck. I understand it's hard, but you don't fucking quit.
Fuck off Big E. You lost all my respect dude. It's like you get yelled at to keep trying and you get ptsd for Gauntlet or some shit and you just give up. Fuck off. Talking all kinds of shit about Camilla talking down to E, but fuck that she was telling him to try and that he has to think positively. She didn't talk shit till his dumb ass quit.
I now understand why people look back to gauntlet 3 far worse. At the time I just saw it as the dude biting on more than he can chew, but he stuck with it until he literally couldn't. Now he's just a quitter. What in the hell.
Nice bit of trivia for Sarah: she lives trivia.
I think I hate Trishelle. I think it's a couple episodes in, enough to say that I really dislike Trishelle.
I just got done watching Exes and I couldn't tell you what Island they go to at the end.
"If looks could kill, I'd be so dead." TJ is killing me this episode.
I love these trivia comps.
It comes down to Chet in a spelling bee lol
San Diego and Trishelle are basically my shit list. New Orleans would be on there too, but with them it's more of a disgust thing.
This Pennsatucky chick just gave me Pennsatucky vibes before because of looks, but her flipping out and being a control freak continues to give me Pennsatucky vibes.
What is New Orleans doing? lmao they're slowly tryin to walk the things to the wall lol Goodbye I guess?
Wait...what? Why is there more than one round? There was only one round the first time... Only one 5 minute round the first time and 3 90 second rounds this time around? It makes sense, but why did they only now think of this or make this change?
Good for Brooklyn.
Fucking Frank. This dude is a cuntnugget.
This cast, or these newer players seem to take this game way more personal. Like the older school players seem to be able to openly realize it's a game and they're able to mostly put stuff away and have fun and chill when it isn't game related. This cast just seems to outright hate everything and will not put stuff aside for even a second.
Frank is just so damn smug, but he somehow still comes off as insecure? Like he has to try to prove himself any time another guy even thinks of talking to him or gets attention.
Why is Nany crying just entering the challenge?
The Horse mask lol
I think I'm on Team Brooklyn and Team Cancun at this point. And Teacm fuck San Diego and fuck Team Vegas. Saint Thomas barely even exists at this point.
Ear pull seems like the weirdest pointless crapshoot of a "competition"
Team Buckwild vs Vegas in a jousting competition lol
I guess I'm hoping for Vegas as they might make an attempt at San Diego since they know they comtemplated going after them the previous episode.
"I'm stronger!" "It's a fish!" "What does that have to do with this?" "It's a fifteen pound fish!" I love this argument.
She dropped the fish haha
I don't know if Laura deserves much respect really. Has she even had a single second of screen time before this?
I actually feel like Knight of anyone would come in here to fuck shit up with this power team.
Alton wanting his own team thrown in lmao
He's opening talking about wanting to leave, but he's talking to the two girls who would literally have to go too. What an idiot.
This season is going to start to annoy the hell out of me. Alton you dumb bitch.
Yeah, just not let Alton go in.
Frank, shut up. He wasn't allowed to do it, you idiot.
That the other teams just sat there and thought the rest of the team would just let Alton lose for the team is hilarious. Now all of them are wanting to jump in on Alton. What is with these baby clowns? I feel like they shouldn't really care at this point because they didn't like Trey and Laura from Saint Thomas anyways. So even if they lose what does it matter to them?
These guys are absolute bitches lol
Seeing how exhausting the first rope dome comp went, I'm surprised these teams didn't focus more on alternating vertically over and over again. The pulling the rope was the hardest part and pulling it through the top would be the most exhausting. Basically go over the top, do a bottom not, go back over the top and repeat over and over again. It wouldn't even need to be complicated, just exhausting. It's the strategy comp for a reason.
Frank and Zach just descheveled lol Not even wanting to look.
Besides maybe Trey, I feel like this whole Saint Thomas cast is completely forgettable. I would be surprised to see any of them again.
"What they're doing to your team is what I did to people in high school." Nice self own? Calling yourself a bully? lol
I spoke too soon, maybe they are able to just put everything aside for some fun.
There's been so little of Jonna and Jasime this season. Kind of surprising.
Glad to see some competitions that more resemble something close to a final challenge.
"I don't know how I got this reputation for being good at puzzles." "Because you brag about it." love Chet.
All this Cancun screen time makes me think they're for sure going in to the arena. They've been pretty absent.
Sarah with the helpful tips!
"Prove you're more than just high heels!" "I'm not!" this episode is hilarious so far.
Now you just know to drop Devyn soon.
Fuck Zach and Frank.
I'm pro Sam.
"I'm just encouraging you, STOP WHINING!" Hahahahaha Funniest episode of The Challenge to this point.
How the hell do you get through the whole thing and just now realize there are extra pieces?
Brooklyn took that! Nice.
Cancun being a damn team.
Frank and Zach are fucking disgusting. "Yoou don't like me telling you to speed up! FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FATASS!!!"
Frank and Zach are just spoiled children turned bullies.
I think this season has the most cast I actively hate.
Robb trying not to call TJ a bitch because he thought he said they lost. lmao
What the fuck was that? Frank and Zach act like twin brothers that will just say anything and do anything to back each other up.
Frank "Zach trying to make me look like the bad guy." hahahahaha does this mother fucker not hear himself? At all? Was it you yelling "You selfish piece of shit!" or "You fat bitch!" Frank, Zach doesn't have to try...
I love the infighting. I looooooooooooooove seeing Frank cry.
I don't know if it's likely, but Frank leaving right now would blow this game wide the hell open.
Come on. Seeing a note for someone else and reading it and laughing? Come on... It's not a prank, its malicious.
Just a good reminder I hate Pennsatucky and the BuckWild team.
Ha, suddenly Frank doesn't want to go in! Frank saying flat out that Sam won't be able to do it. These complete babies.
Have I expressed how much I fucking love this episode yet? I'm giddy.
I don't even think it will take Frank going home to break this game open. I think this team and alliance is fucked.
"If we were so hellbent on our word, I'd be going in with Ashley, but we're not so I'm not going in." What?! What technicality bullshit are you trying finagle your dumb ass out of right now you scared little bitch? lol
I hate Frank.
"Don't be upset, I'm here for you." Frank fuuuuuuck off with your dumbass back and forth bullshit. "Sam, you suck and you're going to lose. But hey, I'm here for you!" lmao This is Sociopath level manipulation.
Glad CJ could take this "Note prank" a lot more lighthearted than I'd be able to.
I wasn't aware they could only be unsure on one of the people going in to the arena? I thought for sure on a previous one the guys were pretty set and the girls weren't and both were picked? Like they didn't even give a chance for the guys to step up after the girls went in the power team just picked both. Then I'm even more confused by them telling Brooklyn they have total control, but then only having them pick the guy. WHAT ARE THE RULES!!!!
CJ being so close with San Diego bothers me. CJ himself seems cool, but I can't trust someone that would be close with these guys.
Maybe this comp is a lot harder than it looks lol
Sam pulling it out during this is great.
I find it curious that they haven't shown Frank or Ashley cheering on their team at all...
"Hey Frank! Fuck you!" I love to see it.
Glad to see Pennsatucky and Shain Gandee be eliminated.
"They haven't been able to win one challenge without me." Frank....THEY JUST FUCKING DID!!!!! You dumb bitch!
"I just need to get them to the end, so I can lead it." Oh the ego Frank.
Trishelle reminding me I don't like her. Calling Frank a pawn and that he got played? What?! Lol, how? What are you even talking about?
I love whatever this gameshow schtick is.
"Guys, you can't make me look dumb." Jesus fucking christ Frank. This is how you start a challenge? "Hmm, now you're quiet." You toddler.
Ok, I think Trishelle was feeding the fire on her pawn talk. She's sitting back loving the infighting.
These numbers on this food is ridiculous. More than 10 baklava a peice in 4 minutes? That seems insane.
I don't even know what this second thing is.
Devyn and Sarah is just devouring these things. This one I actually think they'll get.
The instant reaction to JD almost puking was great. "JD, don't you dare! You hold that shit down!"
Chilis, now this number should be high as hell. I'm surprised how low they are. Sure they're hot but they're easy to eat. Put like 4 of those shits in your mouth at a time.
Vegas, good job making the team lose by having to eat the food. lol
Brooklyn, the power team again!
"And testicles make semen. I don't want neither anywhere near my mouth." Zach, you liar.
Glad to see San Diego going in again.
I love love love every time I see Frank losing it. You mean egotistical bitch that instantly cracks under the tiniest bit of scrutiny from someone he can't just bully in to silence or isn't ganged up on.
Sending in Cancun when you know it's going to be physical seems real dumb...
CJ not knowing how damn feisty and strong Jasmine is in these elims.
Sending Zach and Sam in again. Frank is straight bitches. At least Ashley wanted to go in.
Wow, everyone shitting on Jonna. God damn people. Trishelle calling her trash lol Am I the only one who remembers how tenacious and strong Jasmine was in these kind of elims? This just seems like the smarter choice.
Eh, she still lost. Darn.
Yessssssss, Zach getting his ass trounced.
Annnnnd he won. Damn.
Don't you fucking go back to being buddy buddy with Frank. Fuck that noise.
Is this a longer season? I feel like we're not preparing for the final at this point?
Ugh, San Diego doing team motivation bullshit is just gross. Stop it. You disgust me.
It's weird seeing TJ without a hat so much this season.
I'm really liking the variety of challenges this season.
Yeah, no mention of the final. Must have more episodes to go than I thought.(I'm not looking out of stubbornness)
Robb, literally not being able to get the first bouie.
I kind of have sympathy for Trishelle panicking with salt water. I have the same issue. It's a weird sensitivity to salt water. I am the biggest fan of water and swimming, have never had issues in my life, but any time I get in to saltwater for the first time in a while, my mind goes through this panic the first time I taste saltwater every single time. It's like you can't breathe and you can't help it. Body just goes in instant panic and can't control it. As much as I dislike Trishelle, I completely get this specific issue. It's a completely mental side effect that you really can't help at all. There's literally nothing you can do about it but wait it out. Eventually your mind just adjusts to it.
Alton, don't talk shit. You literally threw your team in the arena and wanted to quit while taking out a team mate like two weeks ago.
"I am a southern man, and you know I don't talk to women like that." lol Dustin
Zach shut up. "We wanted to send ourselves because we feel pretty comfortable."
I feel like these people are not thinking about the comp types at all when they're making their choices. Vegas is all tall and you want them out so you throw them in endurance?
Frank isn't even being talked to, but he HAS to jump in with "Don't you point your finger at me." as she waives her hand meaning everyone lol Frank you whiny bitch that just wants an excuse to scream at people.
Chaos ensues because Frank had to make it two on one and had to jump in to an argument that he knew he had numbers on. Has Frank had any altercation where he is the only person involved? Other than with his own friends? Talks a lot of shit, but I haven't seen him say shit unless he's got people around him.
I'm not sure I even know who this Derrick guy is...
The Challenge and it's tradition of angry drunk casting.
"Nany, I was drunk and emotional, give me a break." Dude you got yourself fucking in this argument when you had numbers.
Wait....Dustin did gay porn? lol That's actually surprising.
You can tell Frank is the most insecure baby bully. You jump in to an argument and as soon as you can't just railroad the argument you just go as personal and as dirty as possible. Frank is a punk bitch. Plain and simple.
If I was in Dustin's position, I'd punch Frank and it'd be worth it.
"Those are just porn muscles." God I fucking hate this dude.
I really want to know how many cast members actually get in fights outside of the house.
Afraid of Alton wanting to go home all over again. "It's not fair people underestimating me." Dude, you've talked about going home multiple times!
Trishelle just gonna let the other team decide lol That's not the way to come out ahead in this fight. You suck just as much.
Wow Trishelle....wow. Good on you Nany, dumb, but good on you.
Trishelle instantly calling anyone that disagrees her a psycho.
Alton possibly not trying? Say it ain't so!
It more looks like Nany isn't trying on this third round. Every time it shows her it looks like she's ignoring ones that go past her and basically walking to the balls.
Trishelle, you trash.
Do we really need to see Frank's reaction to the results? Really?
Dustin: "Remember this."
Trishelle is garbage, but that doesn't stop you from competing dude.
"It's hard to get him to see the big picture. He's very child like." Bitch you lost a challenge, refused to go in because you were afraid of losing, then basically forced your teammate to go in instead and they went home. I know it's not all your fault, but you definitely caused this.
"I can already feel this money in my pocket."-Chet, this is never a good sign.
Zach lol "I'm pissed now. I'm going too take it out on Chet and JD, I don't care."
Alright Zach and Frank, time to lock penises and become one.
Brooklyn guys falling. Ya'll suck.
Wow, guys being DQ'd what in the hell guys?
Sarah and Devyn straight look pissed. lol Chet not exactly backing JD up when he says "Believe me, I was in the tube with him." but then backing him up lol
It'd be dumb to NOT put in Brooklyn at this point.
This cast seems like everything is so personal. Wanting to put in Marie for pushing Derek and Sam being in the way. Not wanting Cancun in solely because of Jonna.
Marie, I'm not speaking is not the way to approach this.
Calling her a brat because you just don't want to send in your girl lol
These people act like it was some vicious and malicious act to push Sam. She pushed Derek. Sam was just behind him and got Derek pushed in to her. It's a dumb thing to get mad about.
Just seems like a dumb idea throwing Saint Thomas in. If the final isn't next you have an advantage by having a full team in these team comps.
Geesh, this feels like the first time they've gone out all season.
"When did you grow a dick anyways?" Frank, taking absolutely zero seconds to go personal lol
You're only just now seeing Franks true colors? Nah, you just weren't on the receiving end of it. You just chose to be fine with it before.
"Well I'll kill your man, how about that?" "OH yeah?! I'll kill your girl, how about that?" What and the fuck am I watching? lol
Wait, are Robb and Marie actually dating or something? I always saw them kiss, but it seemed like a weird brothesister kiss. I always thought it was weird and awkward.
Marie: "Your whole team knows you're a weirdo." She says to the team who all openly accepts being the outcasts and weirdos lmao
"You're just riding Jonna's coattails." That may be the best dig I've heard the entire season.
Angry drunks, angry drunks everywhere.
"Trishelle is like the newly divorced mom that's trying to party with her kids." Damn this episode is getting in some good digs.
It took you getting close to them too realize they're similar?
It's not focusing on Vegas much and just looking in the background it looks like Dustin is staying in the water constantly.
I think Trishelle is colorblind or something lol How she's having this much trouble is kind of astounding. Dustin seems to be killing it for her to not be doing better.
No Trishelle, Dustin is making it look good. You are trash and are completely blowing it.
Good god, I'd have been so pissed if I was Dustin and Trishelle lost that for you. She was having to literally check every single one of the cards. Good god.
"The house is probably happy. Don't have to deal with two drunk asses t-rex'ing around the house." What?
Marie your only contribution to the show was the 3 times you got mad.
Ok, so one more challenge then final. So 2 episodes to go? Maybe 3?
Ok, I was against the location changes lately, but I'm liking them going to afrika. That could be a really interesting intense final.
"We're in Africa, we came here to poach!" oof
That atv looks tiny with the angle it's showing it.
"You don't even have to get your hair wet!" I like Brooklyn
I feel like Dustin is puking after every challenge.
Sarah going slow, but nice to see her whole team rally around her afterward.
Zach looks like he literally can't swim.
Vegas to the finale is kind of disappointing.
Honestly as much as I hate it you probably throw in Brooklyn. You either want a team out or you possibly weaken Brooklyn in some way. Who won a previous challenge that was very similar to a final.
San Diego is a fine choice. You want to weaken them to possibly weaken them too.
Frank can not STAND being talked aboout. I fucking love it. Oh my god...you talked about how he didn't fly far in the challenge that he had no control over? Time to get personal!
Why did Cancun stop like they were done?
I don't know if it's editing or if they gassed out but it looked like Cancun got near the end and just stood there barely doing anything.
"I don't know if anyone can finish this final." But I will fucking ridicule you to no end if you fucking quit!!!!! So if you can't finish just fucking die!!!!! signed with love, TJ
Thermal underwear? Guess a two night final. Ugh
"Could there be very little running involved?" Devyn, have you seen this show?
Frank Praying just pisses me off more. Fuck off dude.
Why is it trying to make this skydive prep sound creepy? It's got like high tone horror movie music over it.
Jumping off a plane and then just starting to jog like normal would feel so anticlimactic lol not sure why but just seems like a weird shift.
Frank and Zach are instantly bitching. FUCK
"You're not gonna talk to me? You're not going to talk to your teammate?" Sure, put the onus on Sam, Frank. It definitely has nothing to do with you verbally abusing her the entire time and just coming back to yell at her more...
"I'd say I'm the smartest person here." Stay humble Frank.
"I'd hate to hand over 250k to a bunch of bullies." I always knew I liked Sarah! There was just that one bad season of her working with Kenny.
Trishelle just spent time in a helicopter and somehow looks more tired now.
Oh my god. These people are terrible. Sam falls and they scream "You did that on your own!" and pick her up and tell her she's acting like a 3 year old. I can't tell you how much I hate these fucking people. I'd rather have 3 Wes's screaming "You dumb bitch" for hours than how these dumb fucks act.
Chet getting in on the shit talking of his own team...
I swear if Frank and Zach win this I will riot.
If Frank and Zach get lost in a dune slide or something I won't be sad. I promise, I won't bat an eye.
This fucking shit ass team. They literally can't stop bitching even when she's laying down.
"I'm going to strangle her!"
At least Brooklyn isn't fucking screaming and yelling at Devyn like she's a crying child on the ground. Jesus.
Sarah killing it at checkpoints.
Just perpetual sad face. I regret everything.
Trash finale. I'm just going to imagine the season is 11 episodes and the footage for 12 got lost. My head cannon is they wait until San Diego gets to the finish and TJ says they're DQ'd for abuse and incessant berating of a teammate.
Ugh, do I even want to watch the Reunion? Unless someone literally beats the shit out of Frank on stage I don't think I'll be happy.
I want to know how much Frank bitched for San Diego being in the back.
Why the fuck are the reunions mostly clip shows?!
Frank looking stunned that she's still mad. Money should make up for it right? Frank is trying soo hard to act cheerful and happy. Fuck off dude.
"It wasn't hard for me, I got to walk thanks to a teammate." Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck the fuck off. Frank trying to come off like he is mad at what happened is going to send me over the edge.
I am actually advocating for full on assault at this point.
Sam/Frank for Rivals 2?
We just not going to address Frank at all on this reunion? Fucking hell?
Sure let's continue to bag on Sam. Sure lets fucking do that.
"Guys she's really not the victim here." JESUS CHIST
It was verbal abuse. You're disgusting to even pretend it was anything different.
Wow the reunion is making it fucking worse. Lets just get the whole cast to rag on Sam. Jesus. And we're just not going to talk about Frank at all other than the push? And don't even pretend you were pushing everyone up a hill in that clip. That push wasn't on a damn hill and the other two were well ahead. There was a damn shot that showed above it at the same time.
The team of Brooklyn is getting more shit on than Frank and Zach. This is gross.
I stopped watching. I don't even like a majority of these people and don't care.
I think I need a break after this season.
I don't even know what to put for a final thoughts type of thing. Just a big giant fucking OOF. This was gross.
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2020.08.25 20:50 Jasona1121 Strong Arm Reviews - Manto Max 228w AIO Kit
Follow me as I journey down the road and make my first steps into Wonderland... This is my first official review of a product and am unfortunately on mobile doin this, but here we go.... photos
posted in order of this review. Anyways, lets get to the meat and potatoes.
Today I have a review for a product that was sent to me for the purposes of the review. During Rincoe's last giveaway for the Beast 228 I was contacted to see if I'd like to offer some insight into two of their latest products.
One of those products was the Beast 228 which has already been released and is pretty simple and straight forward being a semi-mech that's governed by a potentiometer. The short of it is that I think it's a good product at a cheap price point. As far as it goes I'd say that if you're looking a a cheap entry into mechs and are hesitant you could start here and be fine, but honestly there are better potentiometer mods out there.
What's really brought us together is the new Manto Max 228w 3-in-1 AIO. So let's chase after that rabbit...
As a diclaimer I should mention that I was sent the full kit with all available aftermarket options. I'm not fully sure what will be available in the base kit, but let's start there, from what I gather it will be.
I know the basic kit comes with at least the mod, a pod for your PnP DL coils, 2 coils (a .2 dual mesh and .3 single mesh coil), charging cable, owner's manual, battery safety card, warranty card and QC card. These were the things inside the mod's box that Rincoe sent me.
As far as the base kit goes it seems to have a rather well put design. With your two 18650 batteries in the mod there's it has a weight tgat feels good in your hand, if you're into that. Personally i enjoy it when I'm lounging around the house. Though I see how it could be easy to slide out of your hand if you're on the go. That's due to the weight and the satin paint job that it has going on. It looks and feels nice, but it can sometimes not be the friendliest.
I've found, in my vape journey, that I don't much like pods. I never have and I suppose I never will, but I can say that if I'm going to use them they've got to be PnP/drop in/press fit AIO coils. In this way they're much easier to deal with and it makes things much easier to deal with on the fly. So it's nice that the pod has an 8 mL capacity as that much real estate provides ample space for big PnP coils. I've tried all three and each perform well at their recommened levels and beyond. Though I'd suggest not pushing them too far past their limits as they tend burn around the 10 watt mark. Each coil provided nice dense cloud and flavor for it's respective coil count and recommended range. For the purposes of this review i cut my time with coil life at a week and a half. They all lasted that long and I felt confident that I could have gotten the rest of the week if not a full extra week out of them. I got a bit of leaking out of each coil but that's to be expected out of almost all, if not every, pod system.
With my kit I was sent an RBA coil which as of the date of this review I have not used. It looks rather nice to have the option, but i can only think that it's option if you're strapped for cash because otherwise it's better to get the RDTA pod or the 510 adapter. Speaking of which I'd like to dive deeper and take a look at the RDTA pod first.
If you liked building back a few years ago then you'll enjoy the RDTA pod accessory. Typically that can be seen as a bad thing, but I'd counter that there were some stellar attys that hold their own even in today's world of available options. This one tends to be a cloud chasers atomizer, but things are definitely helped by the fact that not only does it have side cyclops airflow, but also dual under coil airflow on each side. Things are further boosted by the coils you run in it.
I tried simple round wire to get a baseline and while they're were ok they were definitely underwhelming. Once I put in some 6 wrap 3mm Badazd River Wire coils things got infinitely better. Flavor and cloud is drastically increased when you can put some nooks and crannies in there where liquid can sit in those pockets. The final build I put in it were some self made braided coils (3x28g SS316L 3mm ID 7 wrap). This was my favorite setup as I love braids and I built them myself, so I guess I'm a bit biased in that regard. I know how all three tend to vape and really the only ones that were a let down were the round wire. As for the RDTA itself I believe it performed very well and though I did have to close down the airflow down by half so that it wasn't insanely airy.
Then there's the machining. As you can see in the pics there are machine marks all over the deck, but honestly it's expected with a budget friendly manufacturer for the most part. The question is do you stare at that all day long? The drip tip, outside of the AFC and top cap look nice and pod all look very nice. Filling is easy and as long as you tilt it back away from the fill port you can fill the enire thing up almost completely. All in all they set out to give you an RDTA that gives you a good liquid capacity and I think they hit that part of it out of the park. There are a few negative spots there, especially with the machining marks and maybe utilizing honeycomb airflow instead of cyclops, but really other than that I didn't really have any complaints.
Onto my favorite part!!! There's not much to say because there's not much there. I'm talking about the 510 adapter. With an atty on it it's easy to get in and out, but those magnets are so strong that it's a pain to get out without one on it. The adapter will fit a 24 or 25 mm atty on it comfortably with no overhang. As a side, I haven't found a mod in my collection, other than my Pro Mech 2, that I like my Kayfun Lite 2019 sitting on. That is until now. The KL'19 looks fantastic on it and more importantly vapes phenomenally on the Manto Max with a lightnin quick fire rate and very nice power and TC modes. Being a dual battery mod it also, literally, has battery life for days too... I've thrown my Blotto and original recipe Recurve RDA on it and no matter what I've thrown at the Manto Max it's taken it. Which leads me to the final peice of kit, the mod itself.
The Manto Max 228w mod seems to be eveything anyone could ask for out of a economic mod manufacturer. Gotta say a quick thank you to vapesourcing.com for the physical specs on this thing:
• Dual 18650 battery
• 8ml Big Cartridge
• Mechman Chip
• 228W Output Power
• 0.96 colorful screen
• Fires in 0.002S
• RDAT for dual coils
• RBA deck for option
• Single/Dual/Triple Mesh Coil
• 510 Adapter
SPECIFICATION Size: 40.3mm(Thickness)37mm(Width)
111mm(Height) Weight: 149g Material: Zinc alloy PCB Efficiency: 95% Battery Using: Dual replaceable high rate of 18650 cells (battery not included) Power range: 1-228W Input voltage: 6.0-8.4V Resistance range of atomizers: VW mode:0.08-5.0ohm; TC（NI/TI/SS): 0.05-3.5ohm Temperature Control Range: 200-600℉（100-315℃） Charging: 5V/2A Maximal output current: 40A Maximal output voltage: 8.4V Pod Capacity: 8ml Coils: Single mesh coil 0.3ohm (50-70w) Dual mesh coil 0.2ohm (60-75w) Triple mesh coil 0.15ohm (80-100w) Colors: Black, Rainbow, Tarnish
At the end of the day I have to summarize the Manto Max as a kit that I can recommend to any vaper, but this thing is definitely pointed squarely at the cloud chaser. If you want MTL your best friend will be the 510 adapter. The RDTA is alright, but there are again better otions on the market though you can't beat it's capacity for liquid. The pod itself does very well, but it suffers the same as any pod, It leaks...
Overall I'd give it a 8/10. There are things that could be improved but not much honestly and once we get a fixed price for the base kit and the peripherals I may edit this post to reflect them. As things sit now though I think it's a damn good kit...
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2020.08.24 16:21 biyadob Don't be like me, fix up before it's too late.
Long time lurker and never posted on Reddit but I really want to share my story, I really feel like I have to. If this helps prevent one kid struggling with this fucking affliction from wasting the best years or their life then great. I've never opened up to anyone about this so this is a huge moment for me, here goes...
I'm in my mid 30's and I've been battling PMO since my early teens. I felt like I have led a double life in all that time; there's the capable version I should have been who partially fulfilled some potential, then the fucked-up PMO addicted me that threw away the best years of his life.
I started faping when I was quite young, 12ish and this was well before the advent of 24/7 HD Porn on tap. My brother would keep a stack of car magazines under his bed and often they would contain features of scantly clad promo girls, that was the entry material for me. By the time I reached 15/16 internet was in it's infancy and cable TV did softcore porn features for free, I was hooked and it ruined everything.
I was bright, popular and was expected to do well at high school but could never give my studies the dedication they demanded. The obsession with porn meant I barely passed my exams, significantly limiting my future options. I had to take some shitty college courses to get in and absolutely hated it. Angry and resentful of how everyone around me was doing well and I was fast becoming a bum, I dropped out of college.
This was the beginning of some awful character traits that have plagued my life; zero commitment to anything, bitterness at the success of others and an agressive personality. The only place I found joy and solace was in the consumption of porn. 17/18 years old, no education, no job, no prospects, no nothing.
The other effect of this disease is what it does to you physically, I looked like shit. My skin was horrific, acne scars and spots everywhere. My confidence as a result was shot to peices. No one in my family had ever struggled with skin issues so compared to my handsome brothers I looked like a fucking ogre. It ages you too, I looked about 40 all through my early 20's.
Eventually things started getting better for me in that I landed my first job, to this date I don't how because the interview was a car crash but they took a chance on me. It was a basic admin role but it gave me some purpose. I worked my way up and professionally I was starting to get places, all whilst juggling this ugly addiction. By the time I was 26ish I had a stable career but I was depressed, the only thing I had away from work was porn. I couldn't shake it off. I tried but the longest I would go is a day or so and then I'd be back at it.
I even managed to date a few girls - again fuck knows how. The normal me would love the company, laughing and joking with beautiful female company but the sick me would objectify them and treat them terribly. One moment I would be sweet and funny and the next aggressive and hurtful. You have no idea how much I regret being such a peice of shit to those women, it haunts me to this day. Neither relationship lasted as I couldn't commit to anything, mood swings got worse and couldn't perform sexually without fantasising about porn. I ended it both times.
Eventually I met the girl I would marry. She's without doubt the most beautiful, caring, sweetest thing in world. I was punching above my weight. I got better at hiding the addiction, to this date she knows nothing about it. Do you know how psychologically fucked up it is to make love to your wife and then find a moment to jerk off to some manufactured filth? I've been married for several years now and the pain of hiding something like this from the women you love is excruciating. It tortures and torments you every day. You fear opening up to her because you know the second she learns about it, that perfect connection you both have will be tarnished forever - irrespective of whether she supports you or not.
Finally, we have a beautiful baby boy and I look at him and pray that he never turns out like me. That he can live a healthy and happy life without the burden of such a sickening disease to drag him down. The single biggest regret of life is my actions on the very day he was born. I watched a fucking video, jerked off and cleaned my self down. Within minutes I get the call to say my wife is in labour and I need to get to the hospital. Few hours later I'm holding the most beautiful, purest, bundle of joy in the world knowning full well that I myself am anything but at that moment. PMO ruined what should have been the single greatest moment in my life, and there's no amount of dispair or regret that will undo it.
Wherever you are on your journey, cut this flith out of your life or these demons will haunt you forever. I want to live an authentic life, no hiding shit from my loved ones. I want to look in the mirror and recognise the real me, and be proud of what I see. I'm on a 10 day streak and I'm not looking back.
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2020.08.23 11:01 Adam19E Going from an Incel to Just Celibate
Now I know what you're all wandering, how does a person that hates their own exsistance and blames it on women stop blaming women and and choose to remain celibate even when he hated the idea of celibacy before?
Well lets just say I didn't have any girlfreinds growing up, I wasn't allowed to date women especially the ones I liked and when I would tell them I liked them I would write creepy paragraphs proffessing my love and they all rejected me obviously... I seemed like a creep and because I had no experience I didn't know it.
I started to become resentful and wander why I wasn't able to attract the women that I liked into my life and I wouldn't say they were good looking either, so it kind of lowered my self esteem further.
At university I had more freedom but the first 2 years were the worst of my life. I managed to get 2 dates from 2 different women but nothing happened, after the first date they both rejected me. 1 girl did date me for awhile but ghosted me, she then told me she only dated me because she was being nice and that she wasn't really attracted to me.
That hit me like a tonne of bricks. Why couldn't she just be honest and I was going crazy. So I started isolating myslef and kicking myself even more, I wanted to see if there were any other people like me and I found the Incel community.
Not all of them are misogynistic although alot of them are, I watched FACE and LMS on youtube and I found the people I thought were my people. You know, the abandoned and the alone. And everything they said made sense, I was short 5ft6, I wasn't the best looking, nor did I have money or fame. Therfore I had nothing to offer, therfore I was insignificant and I wasn't attractive.
This made me mad at women, I didn't understand why you needed all of that to be attractive. It was and still is my oppinion that everyone deserves a chance however, they are not entitled to one. I began to think women were the problem, they were simply to picky and stupid because in my head they'd pick the best looking guys with high status only to get cheated on and become sad only to repeat the cycle.
Everytime I saw a woman say they got cheated on and that goodlooking man who bragged about how many women he'd slept with it enfuriated me even more. I wasn't Just mad as the women anymore, I aas mad at the guys who went around and used them. Don't get me wrong, apart of that hatred was Jelousy. I couldn't go around fucking anyone I wanted to, I couldn't cheat and get away with it, at this point I hadn't even had a single serious sexual relationship in my life.
I fell even more, I began contemplating suicide because the world wasn't worth living in. People are shallow, greedy, evil, narcissistic and on top of it all they didn't care about me I thought. But then things got darker, I began to start listening to a rap mixed heavy metal artist and went to his live show when it was in town near my university.
It made me evil, Now dont get me wrong music is the way to the soul and if you take a fucked up soul and blast it with music that is aggressive and relentless you become that way especially if you have mental illness. I myslef am bipolar. Not everyone who listenes to it is like me though, I'll just point out. ScarLxrd is the nicest guy you could meet in person.
So my thoughts shifted from self harm to harming everyone who I thought had made me suffer, that meant certain family members, the university etc. I once thought about buring my university to the ground and how cool it would be.
After awhile I left for America, I was still depressed and angry but I hid it well. Here it gave me a chance to relax. One day I heard the song SAD on the radio and I really enjoyed it. The next day the person who created that peice of art died. It was the 18th of June and I was laying on a california beach in a Private section when the news broke.
XXXTentacion Controversial Rapper Dead at 21. So seeing this, the video which he was dying in the car, and reading about him I liked him laot because we were relatable in some aspects. He related to me and I loved relatable people as you already know.
I went on a journey through his history and fell in love with the album 17. That album immediately made me cry which I hadn't done in 10 years, I just bottled those emotions away. I watched his Vlogs, he was goofy, funny and a hell of a prophet in the sense his advice on life was amazing.
I no longer wanted to die, I wanted to live but live better.
I came back to the UK and started improving myslef, it was a conscious decision. I gave up on women and didn't care I just took Jahsehs advice and started to evolute mentally and physically.
In that I went to the Gym and started eating properly like an adult should, I quit porn and did relapse a few times but now im porn free, and I also started meditation and exploring who I really was.
I didn't like night life, it made me feel alone and I found everything that everyone loved to do I hated because It made me feel more alone and isolated.
So I started being myslef, i didn't be this fake nice person anymore who said yes to everything. I picked up some books by Jordan Peterson, David Goggins, and started to picture myslef as the alpha. It didn't matter anymore that i didn't look like a beautiful 6ft man with an amazing jaw and hollow cheeks, what mattered is how I viewed myslef.
I wasn't the villain I thought I was supposed to be. I was now at peace, dont get me wrong whenever I see a woman complain she was cheated on I still think it because of her taste in men that it happens, but I no longer wanted to be the guy fucking all the women anymore.
I was more than that, Sex to me now is for one purpose and I've thought about that alot. Sex is to have children plain and simple and that all consuming pleasure that is derived from sex is the pleasure of what should be two people bonding to make a new person.
I no longer waste my semen and I try to maintain vigilant against my desires because Sex can be dangerous as is self-gratification.
So thats my story, of going from an Incel and to a celibate. My improvement didn't take much as I was already looking for hope in the darkness, all I needed was push in the right direction and I could be who I truly was.
My higher self never desired all of these women who throw themselves and good looking guys, my higherself never needed anyone to be happy and my higherself told me I was responsible and conscious of all of me.
I was no longer an Incel, I was Just celibate. I didn't care anymore, I dont care anymore and im happier.
As for Women. I love you all, and I hope you all achieve something great. As for the men you choose thats upto you but just make sure its the right man and im sure you'll know from how he treats the relationship.
If you read this far thank you, I appreciate you and I hope to ispire other Incels to stop hating themselves and start improving on them. You guys need to forget about women for the moment and focus on you. The women will come to you when you have something to offer them, for many women its stability and if you're young like am then it is the herdest time to attract women because truly you have nothing to offer its the same vice versa.
Dm ke if you want to talk or Just post in the thread.
submitted by Adam19E
to IncelTear [link] [comments]
2020.08.20 11:47 msporttouring Attention to details was poor - Spoilers + Rant
So i binged watch this finally, looking past all the violence and death tolls, I immediately found the show to have annoying inacturate props or lack of attention to detail throughout which sort of made it off putting and not very authentic, you can tell when a shows researcher have been lazy and probably not from the UK. The shows creators also look to be confused if the show is set in the 1990's or present day.
Cars used in the show where very out of place for the period it was supposed to be set in.
The Kurdish woman would not be turning up to a high level meeting in a 1990's Volvo estate.
Gypsies do not drive Vauxhall Nova's, battered Toyota Land cruisers and Old land rovers, farmers yes but not Gypsies, they are always in transit vans or pickups
The car Elliot is taken in beat up the jewellery thief gang was a pimped out 1990's Mercedes 190e
The police boss ( Eliot's bosses boss) would not be driving a 1980's Mercedes S Class
Investors would not be rolling round the city in an out of date American limo that are only used for teenage proms and hen nights in the UK.
I noticed early Nokia and alcatel handsets being used throughout which seemed odd.
London's council flats are not as dark, gloomy and derelict as they show depicts, look at Topboy as an example.
The cheap hotels, elliots flat, the pigeon guys house, the gangs hideout "reno" etc just not what you would find in London, all had a made for US feel to it.
Gypsies - do not really live like that, hanging around smashed up caravans with wood fire burnings to keep warm and cars in peices.
Cast was also so so, did not find Sean's character a good fit, he was ok as a younger Peaky Blinder but not really able to command a lead role like this, there only so much squinty eye acting one should be able to pull off.
Also found both Ed and his son both way over dramatic and over dressed, did not look natural in their roles. The Nigerians wouldn't really be dressed in loud tailored suits while they go about chopping people up.
Over all an ok show, but the violence was too out of place for the British crime drama and it did not have many watch it again qualities.
submitted by msporttouring
to GangsOfLondon [link] [comments]
2020.08.19 18:52 tonemanthe5th Spektrum dx6 compatibility
So to make a long story short and put things into perspective, about 2 years ago I had to pack up all my flying equipment before moving so i feel as if I'm a little out of date with the whole flying scene if you would. I have a Spektrum dx6, I managed to peice together my blade inductrix, and blade qx3D. Unfortunately have been unable to find the time to part out and put together my Qx200 which I dearly miss! With all of that said, I am curious, what drones, or receivers are compatable with the dx6 model specifically? I need recommendations!
submitted by tonemanthe5th
to drones [link] [comments]
2020.08.19 15:22 onceAwriter1 Attempt at catharsis
Could it have been different or would it have ended the same? Though we dont talk, the things the happened haunt me everyday.
We were once in love, not always smooth. Your depression and anxiety led to constant reassurance. Questioning very motive. Treating my success as your own.
I did push you away, trying to get you to also live your own dream, living through someone else is never the answer. Sometimes I think I was wrong.
To love you is all you asked for and I did at times take that for granted, dealing with those problems of yours really does take a toll. In the end I felt like your caretaker and not your partner.
Did you have to cheat though. Emotional cheating tore me to peices. Did it really have to be with the guy who sexually assaulted my friend all those years ago? She came to me crying for hours from that and you still trusted him. He kissed you while we were dating and you still trusted him. He taught you how to escort and you still trusted him.
In the end you two got together. That hurt. Did you really have to tell me on my birthday and breakup that day too? The week of the hardest exam. All those months later coming back and building my trust just to tell me you love me and then forget a week later I exist?
He eventually cheated on you twice. What a suprise. But did you have to drag my heart, my soul through this emotional rollercoaster?
I do really wish you the best, in whatever comes next. I refuse to talk to you anymore though, you still live with that bastard. And honestly I'm not sure we can repair this.
I miss my former partner, but you said that's not the person you are. You miss your friend, but when he needed you most you vanished and forgot him.
I do miss you, or at least the ghost of you. You'll never be the same, and neither will I. And as much as I'd like it to. I dont think we would ever work. As friends or partners.
There is more i want to write but my mind is a jumbled mess.
I wish you'd realise how much you have hurt me, how much he has too. I'm glad though the forgiveness I gave helps you sleep because I dont anymore.
Forever in my heart, forever in my mind. Both the good and the bad, for all of time. Yet we must part ways it's for the best, my last writing. It's time to rest.
submitted by onceAwriter1
to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
2020.08.16 00:49 cherrypitpoison Textbooks should be seen as a collecters item and shouldnt be manditory for School or Collage
This might sound gen z of me but every peice of human history, science, math and language arts is easily acssesable via the internet and the information on the internet can be up dated when a Discovery is made however an edition of a textbook is set in stone and youll have to buy the next edition for the correction. Insted of schools using textbooks for lessons they should replase those with research assiments because in the real world your not gonna get a book that has the vocabulary words highlighted you will have to research that yourself thus an empthais on that should be made
submitted by cherrypitpoison
to unpopularopinion [link] [comments]
2020.08.13 03:26 Test33024 Send this to (Ignorant) girls/simps who think that they girls have it harder then guys
Read it all the way then make your tiktok video
- Guy has to make the first move 95% of the time
- Dates paid for you
- Ladies nights at the bar where you get to drink for free (on top of guys already buying you drinks)
- Seat on the bus
- First on the bus or the elevator
- First in the door
- not forced into drafts unlike men
- Lighter sentences for the same crime
- Socially unacceptable to be hit by your male partner, even if he is defending himself - but the reverse is fine.
- First out of the burning building
- First out of the hostage situation
- First off the sinking ship or any other emergency situation
- Infinite resources and social support
- A homeless woman is pitied. A homeless male and he is probably a failure or a junkie and no one cares…
- Men's only groups are considered misogynistic and women should be allowed to join.....women's only groups are perfectly fine
- Family courts overwhelmingly favouring women in settlements and child custody
- ALL the pejoratives in the cultural lexicon are targeted at men (toxic masculinity, mansplaining etc.) we can't even sit down without it being called manspreading.
- If men watch women strippers or models, they are called pigs. Even if the women chose to be in those jobs. But women watching male strippers and models. Perfectly fine.
- Hollywood films overwhelming favouring female empowerment in narratives while men are overwhelmingly the evil antagonist.
- If a male is harassed or has mental health issues he is called a pussy and told that he should just “man up “ and figure it out himself but a woman will get all the support and love from everyone till the end.
- if you say post a video of a guy crying for help on social media everyone will either scroll by without giving a shit or make fun of him but if a girl did it the entire world will have her back
- a woman can easily ruin a man’s life with fake sexual assault or rape allegations and not get punished.
When it comes to any situation where it is men vs women (in a relationship or court) The men is always assumed guilty until proven other wise while the women is assumed innocent until other wise.
A fat guy will be shamed or not given a fuck about but a fat women is “empowered”
The wage gap ain’t real and this has been proven many times. The statistics take every man and women into account as a whole. Men work longer hours, women take more time off work. Men work in higher paying or dangerous jobs. It is against the law to pay anyone less for the same job.
Men take all the hard/dangerous jobs. Hence the reason why most accidental deaths are men
Also most suicides are done by men
And all women say is “oh look at Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos.” Firstly those guys worked hard and smart and they are self made billionaires unlike most women billionaires who got them from divorces or inheritance. And secondly, a bit funny how women cherry pick the CEO and all these high paying office jobs. But ignore the plumbers, electricians, road workers, oil rig workers....
Most women don’t love unconditionally hence why most relationships end because the women isn’t happy and she will be go to her reserves options or she would quickly leave for another guy who is better looking or has more money.
If a girl points out a guy in public and says “omg his so hot” and even takes pictures or videos of him and even posts it, It’s funny and cute but if a guy did it his a creepy cunt.
If a girl runs around grabbing/touching guys and even films it’s a haha funny prank but if a guy does it he will so much hate and probs arrested.
If women cheat it’s some how the guys fault because “he should have been better” or some other BS to justify but if a guy cheats he is a peice of shit that deserved to be killed.
Most girls are allergic to admitting they are wrong. will always blame others (mostly men)
When it comes too looks
Have a shit ton of make up, lashes, dye their hair or have wigs and have cosmetic surgery.
Guy if you ugly u just ugly. You can go to the gym to make your body a bit better but you can’t change your face (girls Can go to the gym aswell anyway)
A poor girl can find a rich guy that will still marry her but a rich girl wouldn’t even look at a poor guy.
But women have “periods” sorry forgot that a period is much more harder to deal with than all those facts stated above. Plus periods are a natural body function, it’s not like women didn’t have periods and men genetically modified women to have periods or some shit.
Oh but we hold a baby for 9 months. That is a choice and it’s nothing compared to everything else.
Most Girls are so entitled they expect to be treated like queens for just simply existing,not having to work for anything and have everything they want bought for them.
While a guy has to work super hard to get a good job and be well established. It’s like the girls think they are a lawyer where the guy has to pay them for them “give up their time”
Let’s see you coming up with a list like this. This took 10 minutes to make. You won’t be able to make something like this in a whole day
And don’t bring up oh but I’m the Middle East or African countries to make points. we are talking about the first world countries that you live In aswell so US, Europe, Australia
Note: this doesn’t apply to all girls but most of them and some are on the worst end of the spectrum and some are midway or a little bit.
submitted by Test33024
to u/Test33024 [link] [comments]
2020.08.06 08:41 kwk111222333 I miss you every day
I miss you so much babe. I can't believe it's been five years this September. I think about you every day. I wish you were here. I dream about you every night. You were my best friend, always happy to hang out with me, even if it was just going to home depot. I never realized how lucky I was and how great you were. I wish I didn't take you for granted when we were together. I can't believe we only dated for 6 months. It felt like years. We were so natural together. If felt so right, like a puzzle peice in a seven billion peice puzzle set. It felt like i had known you forever. I've never met anyone like you since, such a genuine, down to earth woman. I miss the way you would smile in your sleep when I would get home from work and kiss you, and the way you smelled, how you would wait at my house for me to get off work. You were so beautiful. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. I've been so alone since you've been gone. I talk to you every night. I'll never be able to get over you. I don't want to either. I just wish you were here again. I don't understand why these things have to happen. I know I hurt you, and said some things I wish I didn't say. I'm sorry. I wish I could change things. I'm lost without you. Love you forever
submitted by kwk111222333
to offmychest [link] [comments]
2020.08.04 01:41 Geeknificent Recived a package of jerky from jacklinks directly with an expiration of a year away covered in mold. Accidentally ate a piece before realizing. Is there a case here?
State of Tennessee here, Memphis
Okay so The package i just ate a peice from (before i realized) is completely CAKED in mold yet it has an expiration date of june 2021 (A little under a year from now).
Im not sick as of yet, and obviously im hoping I dont get sick. But i noticed splotches of black mold (which ive read can cause serious health issues) mixed in with the green mold predominantly in there, and when i resealed the bag a plume of mold smoke came out.
Should I be pressing a suit for this or is just asking for a refund enough?
submitted by Geeknificent
to legaladvice [link] [comments]
2020.07.31 21:46 QuinnKinn I finally ended my 16 months of hell!
Hey guys, so I’ve never posted before but I lurked, simply because I myself was in a controlling physically and mentally abusive relationship, it was pure hell!
I don’t miss him, I don’t feel sorry for him, I don’t care if he had another female this time, I don’t love him anymore! I never loved him, I feared him!...
This man was the perfect man until the end of March of last year, I felt his admiration for me completely drop!... he then began smashing things, became aggressive, took it out in mr and my kids we lived in constant fear!, he got my kids taken from me, and refused to do any work to help get them home, he did not care about anyone but himself.
I realize I haven’t loved or enjoyed him in such a long time, and that he was a snake and he fooled me, but I never completely let him let him win me over.
Every peice of jewelry he bought had broken, I should have seen the signs.
It took me 16 months to finally shake his behaviour, not look for a solution, not to care when he was cranky, to stop owning his actions, to stop thinking I am the problem!
I am going on a date with someone who didn’t rush to meet me, enjoys talking to me, thinks the things he told me were wrong with me are amazing, and he doesn’t want anything in return for my company, he just wants to spend time with me for me!
I am terrified, but so happy because this means I have completely taken my power back, you did not break me or take my hope from me, you may think you won but I am the one who can’t stop smiling, laughing and appreciating each moment for once!
Sorry I’m all over the place, I just feel so free!
submitted by QuinnKinn
to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
2020.07.23 06:52 gtindolindo 24hrs of fresh oxygen.
Hello everyone. I am new to this thread and id like to say im glad it exist. 24 hours without weed upon my own choosing for the first time in 14 years. Ok kinda my own choice. Let me explain. Im 35 years old now and i had been dating the same person for 10 years or so. We both participated in the habit. After a few years my SO wanted to start making moves toward a family and marriage but i was stoned. A few years after a few breakups later and empty promises unkept things wouldnt change and i only got worse. Id choose weed over going out, friends, my SO wanting to bond. I never went to work, bed, on vaction , doctors appointments, dentists appointments, funerals, weddings, etc. sober. I was never sober unless i physically could not obtain something that had thc in it. Id hit empty bowls when i ran out. Scrapped old muk off the sides of peices. Scrummage for old butts and ends to finish off in the bong. Looking back on this makes me feel i could be better. What really got me was my SO side of it. She told me that when they moved out all of their belonging smelled like smoke (im a blunt guy). What i thought was upper respiratory i infection in my cat is likely due to my obsessive habbit so my fur baby snores and has lots of breathing issues as late. My last landlord accused me of running a drug den because of the smokey discolored ceiling fans. Ive been the party house / smoke shack for years on end. This is all while i held a job and was what i thought to be an extremely clean person. Vacuming, dusting, lysol, popcorn....nothing covered it up. My SO said flat out she would not bring a child into this world under those conditions. Id have to agree with her. We arent together atm because i was too high to understand why me feeling good temporary was no good in the long run if i wanted to start a family. Regrets, tears, disdain for myself never kicked in until 2 years later after we were broken up. I apologized to her this past week and she told me she was just worried about my health. Not that she was mad just disappointed... Not i need to change. Just " im worried about you. You dont seem to care when you're high but i worry because you dont. How do you expect to have a family if you refuse to better yourself?" Shes been back in vet tech school. Had relationships. Made new friends. Traveled. New chapters of her life as i sat there on the couch on the same page as i was b4. I was never over that woman and knowing how such a small change could have impacted our lives breaks me . This week i ordered tests strips, told all of my smoke buddies im on leave. This thread is my new support system. The stories here had me feel at home with others whom have the same common goal. Im 24 hours in...its not going to be easy. My ex doesnt think i can change. . My parents dont even know i smoke and im still their lil angel. Friends dont plan on stopping so ive had to ask them to keep it out my home. I live alone with my cat and my thoughts so all i ask is for your support because you all have mine.
submitted by gtindolindo
to leaves [link] [comments]
3 Ways to Date a Pisces - wikiHow